A-S-T-O-R-I-A-S escapade (if i were a boy o.O)

my "bestfriend's exboyfriend" that is also my friend, ivan, kinda like share the same personality w? me. we're kinda laagan, ok! not really "kinda" im really laagan, im the "mosey" type who goes out leisurely without having a second thoughts. (wordz from melz) we want to go to far laces, especially places we've never been to.maybe To have some adventure thingy or just to have a plain laag2. to have the time of my life. im a kind of person who want to spend the best time of my life, live life to the fullest, party hard(weh?), have some fun(naks), i dont want to spend my rentire life following the line, be good-be boring-be blablabla-do this-do that-follow the rules-and blablabla!. its like living for them i want to live my life without so much regrets by doing what i love and what i believe! well, its me, i have my own rules! it's my life my choice my mistake my concequence! so leave it to me! and stop telling me what's right or wrong! you're just accepting a hands down culture, you don't even know or understand! i really don't get it! people love to follow the trends without full understanding! just because people say and do that, just people believe this and that, just because people say thats good and thats right you easily believe? without fully understanding it! i really dont get it! why just cant they live for themselves and stop having a hard time by doing things they don't want just because someone say so! come on! wait, im being too far fron the topic! haha! im having a discussion here already! hahaha! forgive me about that im just taken by my emotions! back to the topic:

so since he knew that i love going to far places, he invited me together w/ some people (yeah you read it right "some people", its because i dont consider everyone thats being invited was my friend) to go to astorias, since his family will be going there. then as an outgoing, extrovert and sociable type of person i did not have a second thought!wait! ahm i did have a second thought! he told me that we will go there on dec.7 and will be back on dec.9. yeah we'll stay there 2 nights and 3 days, the problem was, me and my boyfriend already made plans first for dec.8. O.o yah, we made plans first but we're kinda having problems during this time. we are having some misunderstanding and we're onto trouble. i can't give you the details. its not the usual problem of a bf/gf.for me it's a big problem, for me it was really big. biggest problem we've encounter so far. and its like i cant go on with this relationship anymore. giving up was really on my mind. i thought breaking up was already the answer. but i didn't wanna have a rush decision so maybe to have a time to think and a space formyself i'll say yes to the astorias invitation. but his still my boyfriend despite of these troubles, so im still going to ask his permission. and so i did asked his permission. and. . . .  and. . . . yes! he said it was ok to cancel our "moviethingy @ sm" so i did went to ASTORIAS.
i should remind myself the i'll go there to think. to clear my mind! to find answer! and to find myself!(as if nawala) :))
and one more thing, lets not forget
TO HAVE SOME F U N!
(let the pictures explain my astorias experience)

oh see?? nangatog na sila! ako wa pako nahumag huna2-huna!! haha! maoya!

view gawas sa window!

amu gi stayhan!

daghan tuko!

laki ko!

bugnaw kai hangin basta gavie

________________________________________________________________________________

mai kai ko mu saka! mai pa ko sa mga pure laki! haha

and so i did had fun!
and time to think and time for myself! ^_^
it's all worth it!

a piece of the past

as i was reading my old diary, essay and other things i have written, i found something, something that really brought back a lot of memory A PIECE OF THE PAST, its like a letter for no one. .i already forgot it, i can't even remember when and where i wrote it, but as i was reading it, its like going back from the past, the things, the feelings the people, and the situation. and i realized how things already changed. from there to here.YES, things have change already, the people, the situation, and the feelings. . .

here's the content of that thingy:

______________________________________________________________________________

It's been a long time i wrote to you about what i feel, but right now, im in the mood so im gonna writ everything that bothers me. actually, there are really a lot of things that bothers me. like, if i still want this relationship to workout, i mean my relationship with mr. coffee, well whatever relationship we have right now, whether its friendship or hateship or whatever, im really bother if i still want to continue. Not because i dont want him anymore or im already bored or the feelings are gone, it's not that. im just kinda tired, well not exactly tired but hurt, yeah maybe tired, emotionally tired, i dont know if im just insensitive and i dont see all the things he does or its just he's really not doing anything to worked this out,  his words tells that im really special, im happy about that but words without action? its nothing. same as actions without words is kinda confusing. sometimes he's sweet, sometimes he's so cold, i dont know what he thinks! i dont really know what i am to him. im really so confused , and because of that im starting to change already, cause his actions motivates me to change. then what makes the situation more confusing is this guyfriend, mr.13! yeah im confused cause it seems that im stating to like him or to fall for him and its like im starting to miss him, he's starting to stay on my mind and im kinda afraid he might travel in my heart and stay there.
yes im afraid, its because my closefriends have feelings for him. my friend loves mr.13 so much and i dont want to hurt the feelings of my friend.
But i think im not really inlove with mr.13 . Yes im pretty sure about that. its because SOMEONE still occupies the entireplace in  my heart.
but i know nothing is constant in this world. i dont know, maybe tomorrow everything will change already and that SOMEONE will no longer be in my heart and that mr.13 will be in my heart already. we dont know. I DONT KNOW!\

but for now, im sure my heart still belongs to that SOMEONE. i dont wish to replace him. eventhough sometimes his the reason for my sadness and confusions. still, that wont change anything. He will always be the reason for those random smiles and the reason for my happiness. The man behind all those untold stories. AS OF NOW! i think im even falling for him more and more. bleeh. HAHA! anyways, anyways, anyways, im really confuse. i realy need help! MY! stop making me feel this way! Pls. i hope everything willbe okey at the end of the day!

2:57 (class dismiss) ended

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funny right? maybe i wrote this during our class. haha

cut-off

   today, i cut off a lot of things, well not really ''a lot'' but i cut off two things!

FIRST was my hair, i cut my hair off- i cut it w/out thinking. just when i saw a scissor, i was like I MADE A BIG DECISION TODAY, I DECIDED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES so im gonna cut some portion of my hair(watz the connection? i dont even know too. haha. just plain weirdness). so i get the scissor then get some portion of my hair then cut it, wyl i was cutting that portion of my hair i realized that its not as sharp as i was expecting, but i already cut some part so there's no turning back, i must finish cutting that portion, and yeah sad to say i did finished cutting that portion of my hair.

  still holding the scissor-staring myself in the mirror, another crazy thing popped up in my mind, TO CUT A PORTION ON THE OTHER SIDE. and again another sad thing happened. haha.

i put the hair that i cut in a bottle, you know, some remembrance of my crazyness.

and the SECOND THING that i cut off was my eyelashes. its kinda long so i decided to cut it off.

haha. i didnt really cut my eyelashes.kidding!!

its not really my eye lashes but its my soulmate! :(  i cut all the ties i have with him. i decided to cut whatever kind of relationship with him.  As whai i had mentioned above "I MADE A BIG DECISION TODAY, I DECIDED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES" . i don't think i could get back everything i have said, just like whai i've done on my hair, i did it without thinking. after evrything i did, i dont think i could get him back. the decision i've made was just like the hair i cut off, i don't think i could do some redo, get things back.all i can do is to wait for the time, i would have another long hair again and replace the hair that i cut off, and to wait for the time to find someone who can replace his place in my life.

but i really don't think someone can replace him, someone may take another place in my life, but can;'t really replace him.

 I really believe that his my soulmate, its just that we're not destined. but his really my soulmate! i dont have any regrets! being friends with him was one of the happiest times in my life. he made me feel that im special, he made me feel that im not just an ordinary friend. he taught me that love doesn't really need some title, if you love someone show it, don't waste time, life is full of uncertain things. he taught me that being myself is the best way to impress somebody. that just being the weird, childish, immature, insensitive and crazy me, someone will still loved me.!he taught me a lot of things, made me realized a lot of things, yes, we didnt have a happy ending! but he will always be my SOULMATE AND MY FIRSTLOVE!

my hair looks like this, not exactly like this but a sort off.haha. jeez, k, not really like this, my hair looks terrible and ugly! haha

yes I cut my hair off but it's not really that big deal , I'd still be ME , I wouldn't let anyone define me because of that. haha (reason!!!haha)

Soulmates but not Destined

Isn’t weird how one person can make you smile? how one person can turn your shitty day into an amazing day. how one person can give you butterflies in your stomach everytime you talk to him/her. How one person’s kiss can take you to another world. How one person can make you feel so special. How you are comfortable enough to be yourself with that one person, your goofy super dorky self because he/she finds it attractive. How one persons touch gives you that tingly cool feeling. How you can get so nervous around one person. Isn’t it weird? ♥

vampire^_^

I love your storied eyes

                                                     I love the hair that's never in your face

                                                      Love the way you move to the beat

                                                       Every time our favorite song plays

                                                          I love that look you give me

                                                          When you're a little bit amused

                                                              I love the way you smile

                                  That makes me warm and fuzzy and a little confused

                                                                I've waited all my life

                                                            To find someone like you

                                                               You make me happy

                                                             Every little thing you do

                                                               I get the butterflies

                                                            Every time I look at you

                                                           You make my heart sing

                                                             The sweetest melodies

                                                              Wish I could tell you

                                                       Just how much you mean to me

                                                       I love when you take my hand

                                                       Just to help me down the stairs

                                                          I love the way you dance

                                                   How you always forget to fix your hair

                                                      I love when you drive me home

                                         The way your eyebrows shoot up when you sing

                                                      I love your voice on the phone

                                                How you seem to understand everything

                                                        And all of my wrong turns

                                                       They led me straight to you

                                                           You make me happy

                                                       Every little thing you do

                                                            I get the butterflies

                                                        Every time I look at you

                                                        You make my heart sing

                                                        The sweetest melodies

                                                         Wish I could tell you

                                                 Just how much you mean to me

                                                        I've gone through life

                                                       Either unhappy or alone

                                                   Now even when I'm far away

                                                   You make me feel so at home

                                                        You make me happy

                                                     Every little thing you do

                                                         I get the butterflies

                                                 Every time I look at you

                                                 You make my heart sing

                                               The sweetest melodies

                                                   Wish I could tell you

                                           Just how much you mean to me

strangers with memories

It’s amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. You will pass by them without a word. Without a single acknowledging look. This person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

Still (original composition for JAMLI) --krabs--

You used to call me

Every time you are weak

You'd always run to me

and cry on your feet

I'd hold you close to me

Didn't wanna let you go

Held you closer 'till I fell for real

Bridge:

But where did you go

You left me all alone

Seeing you leave

Makes me wanna moan

It breaks my heart Knowing that we belong

Leaving me is just so wrong

Chorus:

Here I am waiting for you to come back

still here wishing for your heart back

Letting you go is just too hard

I can never forget what we had

Can't you see that we belong

never gave up on you for so long

Still need you, still want you, still love you

Still waiting, Still hoping for you

2.

Was about to tell you how I feel

But you suddenly disappeared

The next thing I heard

You were happy and moving forward

Things turned true and blue

When that new gIRL came to you

That you don't love me anymore

Like I still do

Bridge:

But where did you go

You left me all alone

Seeing you leave

Makes me wanna moan

It breaks my heart Knowing that we belong

Leaving me is just so wrong

Chorus:

Here I am waiting for you to come back

still here wishing for your heart back

Letting you go is just too hard

I can never forget what we had

Can't you see that we belong

never gave up on you for so long

Still need you, still want you, still love you

Still waiting, Still hoping for you

3.

All the suffering I wont mind

Just to be with you all the time

Please come back to me and stay

I'll always be beside your way

Chorus:

Here I am waiting for you to come back

still here wishing for your heart back

Letting you go is just too hard

I can never forget what we had

Can't you see that we belong

never gave up on you for so long

Still need you, still want you, still love you

Still waiting, Still hoping for you

Here I am waiting for you to come back

still here wishing for your heart back

Letting you go is just too hard

I can never forget what we had

Can't you see that we belong

never gave up on you for so long

Still need you, still want you, still love you

Still waiting, Still hoping for you

***END***

FT.MOON ^__^   :(