a piece of the past

as i was reading my old diary, essay and other things i have written, i found something, something that really brought back a lot of memory A PIECE OF THE PAST, its like a letter for no one. .i already forgot it, i can't even remember when and where i wrote it, but as i was reading it, its like going back from the past, the things, the feelings the people, and the situation. and i realized how things already changed. from there to here.YES, things have change already, the people, the situation, and the feelings. . .

here's the content of that thingy:

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It's been a long time i wrote to you about what i feel, but right now, im in the mood so im gonna writ everything that bothers me. actually, there are really a lot of things that bothers me. like, if i still want this relationship to workout, i mean my relationship with mr. coffee, well whatever relationship we have right now, whether its friendship or hateship or whatever, im really bother if i still want to continue. Not because i dont want him anymore or im already bored or the feelings are gone, it's not that. im just kinda tired, well not exactly tired but hurt, yeah maybe tired, emotionally tired, i dont know if im just insensitive and i dont see all the things he does or its just he's really not doing anything to worked this out,  his words tells that im really special, im happy about that but words without action? its nothing. same as actions without words is kinda confusing. sometimes he's sweet, sometimes he's so cold, i dont know what he thinks! i dont really know what i am to him. im really so confused , and because of that im starting to change already, cause his actions motivates me to change. then what makes the situation more confusing is this guyfriend, mr.13! yeah im confused cause it seems that im stating to like him or to fall for him and its like im starting to miss him, he's starting to stay on my mind and im kinda afraid he might travel in my heart and stay there.
yes im afraid, its because my closefriends have feelings for him. my friend loves mr.13 so much and i dont want to hurt the feelings of my friend.
But i think im not really inlove with mr.13 . Yes im pretty sure about that. its because SOMEONE still occupies the entireplace in  my heart.
but i know nothing is constant in this world. i dont know, maybe tomorrow everything will change already and that SOMEONE will no longer be in my heart and that mr.13 will be in my heart already. we dont know. I DONT KNOW!\

but for now, im sure my heart still belongs to that SOMEONE. i dont wish to replace him. eventhough sometimes his the reason for my sadness and confusions. still, that wont change anything. He will always be the reason for those random smiles and the reason for my happiness. The man behind all those untold stories. AS OF NOW! i think im even falling for him more and more. bleeh. HAHA! anyways, anyways, anyways, im really confuse. i realy need help! MY! stop making me feel this way! Pls. i hope everything willbe okey at the end of the day!

2:57 (class dismiss) ended

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funny right? maybe i wrote this during our class. haha